But It's a Dry Heat

A Taste of the Chaos

Once upon a time, for a short while, The Music of Chaos was a webcomic. Because nobody (not even Edward of Twilight) does moping and angst like I do, I decided I would never, evah get the manuscript published.  In a fit of pathos, I turned it into a graphic novel.

About 90 pages in, I came to my senses and went back to trying to sell the story to publishers.

Over at Romance Writer’s Revenge blog, I was asked to tell my story of the Call with The Music of Chaos.  This is where most authors get to describe the giddy excitement, the celebration, that came with signing the contract and publishing their book.

My version of the story, at least with the final acceptance that led to publication, could be summed up as “a shrug.” The Music of Chaos has had a total of four acceptances. (Plus a NY editor who loved the early chapters. Story for ‘nother time.)

Two of the publishers, I turned down.  One because the publisher had (and to this day still has), butt-ugly Poser-generated covers. Another, because the publisher had the contract from hell.  Secondary rights were mis-identified as primary rights; it was riddled with contradictions; and it took all rights including a merchandising clause that gave them rights to the webcomic.  Actually, it even gave them rights to artwork (not created by me) in an illustrated anthology.

Did I mention this was a little known, epublisher who has about as much chance of selling TMOC merchandise as I have for winning American Idol? Yeah.  Ridiculous.

Anyway, poor Decadent Publishing got TMOC when my enthusiasm for publishing was running on fumes.  But they’ve proven, so far, to be a good home for the story that wouldn’t give up (even if its author did).  My book was edited, edited, and just when I thought it was safe to open my email– “It’s back!” –edited some more. Which is, as Martha Stewart would say, “…a good thing.”

Wanna read a sample?  Chapter One can be read in its entirety, here.

Step One, Dig a Hole

Gardeners bury their mistakes.

Whenever I talk about gardening, there is always someone who is quick to say, “I can’t grow anything; I have a brown thumb.” Now, I recognize that this may be an attempt to shut me up.  “Dear Lord, don’t let her start blathering about ‘soil’ again.”

But to the small percentage who say this with genuine chagrin, my reply is: “So do I.  All gardeners have brown thumbs.”

Here’s the thing.  Gardening is as much about death as it is life.  As with any hobby (or profession), success is achieved largely through a willingness to learn from your mistakes, and sometimes, to simply ignore them.

I’m a geek.  I love science-y stuff.  In college, I took Botany and Biogeography.  I know how photosynthesis works and understand the C4 pathway. But often, when a plant dies, I have no fucking idea why. And die, they do.

I gave it the perfect conditions: just enough water; well-drained soil; a touch of compost.  And it still got dead. In this way, gardening mirrors publishing.  You can have the perfect story for the perfect market, and it still gets rejected.  The only difference being, that unlike publishing, I don’t torture myself over Mother Nature’s rejection of my attempts to meddle.

I dig up the dead thing, chuck it in the compost pile, and plant something in its stead. Game over, insert quarter, play again.

And if all else fails, water the weeds.

It’s Free, It’s for Me, Gimme Three!

Well, just one.  Just today, March 18th, 2011, I’m over at Romance Writer’s Revenge.  One commenter will win a free copy of my ebook, The Music of Chaos.  Stop by.

It’s a really fun blog.  I recommend visiting regularly.

Like a Roller Coaster

Dunno.  Maybe it’s hormones.  Maybe it’s just life.  But these past weeks I’ve been vacillating between giddy-happy and morose “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

“Boing, there she goes” triggers include everything from politics, New Zealand (poor Christchurch), Japan (sigh, poor Japan), to our lovely New Mexico spring.

Nothin’ makes my goonier than publishing.  Saw the release of my first book, The Music of Chaos.  Immediately wondered if I’d lost my mind by letting the world see what a dog-awful writer I am.  Got a couple of good reviews. Up. Then, back down the rabbit hole of gloom, when I realize that every other author out seems to know how to promote.  “Doomed, doomed, my book is doomed.” (Cue those really great ominous drums from the Mines of Moria in Fellowship of the Ring.)

Meanwhile, The Canvas Thief was Read the rest of this entry »

The Road

The Road, the movie. Where Viggo Mortensen gets the chance to let it all hang out.

As The Man, in the grim adaptation of the equally grim novel by Cormac McCarthy, Mortensen sheds all for a rear-view nude scene. (If it’s a frontal view of Mortensen’s man meat you’re hankerin’ fer, try Eastern Promises.) In The Road, Mortensen wades out into a cold pond, his boys swinging sweet low chariot. Of course, this begs the question, why haven’t his jewels climbed north to warmer climes? But The Road, movie and novel, both suffer from a worse factual problem.

The premise of the story is that some sort of global disaster, read “apocalypse,” has destroyed all life on earth except humans. Therein lies the problem. Look, there’s no doubt humans are tough. But if it’ll wipe out Read the rest of this entry »

Ebook Publishing for the Lazy and Unethical

As I noted in my posting at the other blog, my blog got plagiarized. The thieving site, is the ironically named Write (Create) Your Own Ebook (write-your-own-e-book.info/blog/judging-an-ebook-publisher-by-the-covers). I’m not including a clickable linky, because they don’t deserve the linkage.

The site is selling a book on how to write a book without actually doing any of your own writing. They [site owners] demonstrate this with their blog, which steals other people’s blog postings, without giving clear, attribution to the author. (Burying a link at the end, is not clear attribution.) The blog allows no comments; there is no contact information included; and their Whois information is hidden.

Some say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but, me I’d prefer cold, hard cash, or at least correct attribution–My name (P. Kirby or Patricia Kirby) on the article–of my work.

Blog plagiarism is theft.

Cross posted at Ramblings from the Desert.

Judging an eBook Publisher by the Covers

And by their web page.

These days new epublishers are popping up like daisies on the lawn. Over at Absolute Write, someone starts a thread inquiring about a press’s bona fides almost daily.

Before you sign a contract, or for that matter, submit a manuscript to a publisher, you should always do some research.  But before you bother to Google, post a question in a newsgroup, etc., there’s one simple way to gauge whether a pub is worth the mouse clicks.

Look at their web page, especially their home page.

A publisher’s page should do one thing and do it well. Sell books.

It’s easier to show than Read the rest of this entry »

Stroking the Ego

Bad reviews are inevitable, but good reviews  soothe some of the other anxieties that go with this biz.

Yesterday–Monday, blargh–I cautiously opened my email.  Lately, I’ve been approaching my email account as though it were an angry cobra.

The reason? I’ve got a novel in submission and it’s been out long enough to possibly be due for a response.  My last sub to this particular market scored a rejection after a quick month. Having passed the month goalpost a while back, I’m now torturing myself with the possibilities.  Like…they are actually considering it;  or, maybe it’ll score a revise and resubmit;  or, it’s sitting, ignored, in an editor’s mailbox; and worst of all, that my rejection went out weeks ago and was lost in e-space.

And then my head exploded.

I was therefore, delighted to find a link to another good review for The Music of Chaos in my email.

I found this bit especially nice:

The plot of this story is exciting and has many layers, the detail is extraordinary, and I was unable to put this book down until I got to the last page, and I didn’t want to put it down even then. Hopefully there will be another Regan O’Connell story soon; I can never get too much of my new favorite anti-hero Breas.

Yeah. I’m fond of Breas, too. Breas has absolutely no tact.  So he’s a hella lot of fun to write because he can say all the horrible things that decent people can only think. The review in its entirety can be found here.

As for the sequel…I’m workin’ on it.

Red

We watched Red again, last night. A big part of the movie’s charm is the cast–the notably older cast.  It trades on the same idea as The Expendables.  That older doesn’t mean useless, not even with action heros.

Watching it for a second time, I realized that Red has a lot in common with the uninspired Knight and Day.

Both movies utilize the same premise.  An ordinary woman gets drugged and kidnapped by a super spy/rogue CIA agent who is Read the rest of this entry »

And Then He Lied to Her

You know how children love to watch the same movie, over and over, and over?  Until, you swear, if you hear Buzz Lightyear say, “To infinity and beyond!” one-more-time, you’re going to start kicking cute puppies and drowning kittens.

I do that with songs.* The invention of headphones was a godsend for any unfortunate soul who’s ever lived with me. Back in the day, I wore out many a cassette tape–rewind, play; rewind, play….

Fortunately, now, there’s my trusty little iPod, a.k.a., Pinky.  (My husband thought it was funny to get his tomboy wife a pink iPod.)

A few weeks ago, I stumbled on the song and video for Josh Ritter’s achingly romantic song, “The Curse,” a song about a mummy who falls in love with an archeologist.

Long ago on the ship
She asked why pyramids
He said “Think of them as an immense invitation.”
She asks “Are you cursed?”
He says “I think that I’m cured.”
Then he kissed her and hoped
That she’d forget that question.

The lyrics inspired my attempt at a comic.  I can’t draw a ship’s cabin, so I opted for museum as a background. (Click image for a larger version.)

*Um.  And I still do this with movies, too.  I’ve seen Serenity, Galaxy Quest, The Princess Bride, and Master and Commander so many times, I know all the dialogue by heart.