But It's a Dry Heat

Archive for the ‘Critiques’ Category

There’s No Mystery; I Just Don’t Care

Alternate Title: “Why This Excerpt Sucks.”

PROLOGUE 

“They’re coming,” said Mary.  “They should be here tonight.”

“Tonight?” said Bob.  “That soon?  Can anything be done to stop them?”

“No. Nothing.”  Mary stared out the window, clutching her shawl around her shoulders. “It will be worse than before.”

“The last time they came, it was (more…)

Clarity Counts

Here in New Mexico, the local schools use a program called Character Counts to uh, indoctrinate teach kids to be good little cogs in the machine how to play well with others. Whether or not this actually works is debatable. What has always struck me about Character Counts is how those words are essentially nonsense, word salad. Serious, what does “Character counts” mean?

Here’s where someone wearily says, “You know what it means.”

No, I don’t.  At least not absent the whole campaign that goes with the program.  “Character counts” what? Sheep? Cards?

Words do mean … stuff.  But meaning and clarity are a function of a whole bunch of other words.  One of the most common problems I see when critiquing stories over at Critters is a total lack of clarity.  Often this is because (more…)