But It's a Dry Heat

Archive for the ‘Worth Watching’ Category

Brave

It seems that even critics who liked Brave thinks it’s not as inventive as previous Pixar fare. I disagree. It breaks the fairy tale mold in ways that go beyond its strong female protagonist.

No, Merida is NOT the typical Snow White/Cinderella-style vapid heroine, whose only aspiration is marriage to a total stranger–handsome, but still a stranger–her reward for being pretty and well-behaved. Merida is a strong, capable, self-rescuing princess.

But the film busts other tropes, as well. For instance, there are no evil stepmothers or wicked witches, driven to destroy the princess out of jealousy. Because, you know, the princess is now the fairest in the land?  Why is that, by the way? Male villains are given straightforward motivations like greed and lust for power, but the typical female (Disney) villain’s megalomania is nothing more than a beauty routine gone out of control. For once, I’d like to see a villainess who isn’t hung up on beauty, who wants to rule because she knows she’s bigger, badder and smarter than the current crop of idiots who are running things.

Speaking of big bads….Brave departs from formula there with (more…)

The Avengers

And once again, I’m glad I live in New Mexico, because we have a complete dearth of crap worth blowing up. Granted, there was the minor dust up in a too-Anglo-to-be-New Mexico town in the movie Thor, but that was just a few buildings. Hell, that alien robot didn’t even bother to mutilate the local livestock. (Even the aliens in Cowboys & Aliens knew that the genre requires the immolation of a few hapless bovines.)

Mostly, though, aliens land in New Mexico, but faced with the absence of tall crash-y buildings, quickly move on, probably afraid we’ll set up another cheesy alien museum, a la Roswell. Because that’s just embarrassing.

If the alien version of urban renewal is too violent for you, then New York city should be low on your list of places to settle. As exemplified by The Avengers, where yet another group of folks who aren’t from around these parts, revel in (more…)

Pitch Black

I’ve never much liked Superman.

Although Smallville did a decent job of injecting the man of steel with a touch of humanity, the character as a whole is overburdened by his squeaky clean, unambiguous morality.

I like my heroes to struggle with their call to action. I want them to come kicking and screaming into the light. Don’t give me Mr. Saintly who saves the day because it’s the right thing to do. Give me a guy who saves Earth because it’s got the best pizza in the universe and, oh, yeah, his friends, all two of them, happen to call the little blue rock home.

Which is why Pitch Black is one of my favorite movies. Not only is the hero as dark as the movie’s title, but the supporting cast also has a furious case of flexible ethics.

Riddick (Vin Diesel), the film’s hero, is about as “anti” as an anti-hero can get. He’s spent so many years incarcerated in the (more…)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

I’ve never read the novel, but have seen the original Swedish movie adaptation, so this was an interesting journey into essentially watching the same film twice. Literally. The first two-thirds of the movie seems to be a scene-by-scene re-shoot of the original, in English. This version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo–now with Daniel Craig!–both is and isn’t an improvement over the original.

The story begins with Mikael Blomqvist (Daniel Craig) being convicted of journalistic fraud after his expose of a corrupted industrialist is revealed to be underlain by shoddy journalism. In truth, Mikael has been set-up, but the ruling has repercussions, not only for his career and (more…)

In Time

Remember Logan’s Run?

Me neither; just a few scattered impressions from when I was a kid and it was on TV.  I recall it being about a futuristic society where people were killed off at 30, their expiration date announced by some kind of colored device on their hand.

In Time trades in a variant of that premise: in the future, science has somehow made it so that people stop aging at twenty-five. Humans, however, still make babies and in a world where no one dies except through fatal accidents, people would eventually be packed on this little blue sphere like sardines. Society’s solution is stamp a digital clock on everyone’s arm that starts ticking at 25, counting down a year. Since it’s possible to put more time on the clock, a person could theoretically live forever. Run out of time, however, and it’s Deadsville for you. Time, not money, is now the most important commodity.

It’s the future and (more…)

Hugo

“…it was a very long, very french tongue bath for some creator of silent films..” ~a comment on a review at Rotten Tomatoes.

To some extent, that assessment isn’t off-base, although a big part of the slobber on Hugo comes courtesy of critics who would cheer for a film about paint drying, if it were directed by Martin Scorsese.

Which isn’t to say that Hugo is a bad movie. I liked Hugo. I didn’t love it, but it was a pleasant way to spend an evening. It’s pleasant like a perfectly toasted slice of bread with a bit of butter and fresh strawberry jam is pleasant. It makes for a nice breakfast, but deep down, you’d really prefer a breakfast burrito, loaded with cheese, chile, potatoes and eggs.

I had no particular expectations for the film, but those who (more…)

Drive

After watching Drive, a couple of things came to mind:

First, I hope Ryan Gosling wasn’t paid by the word, and second, the only way to make Los Angeles look like anything other than an overpopulated, ugly-ass, shithole is to film it at night.

I also realized that for once, my inability to remember a character’s name isn’t my fault because in this case, the protagonist had none. Ryan Gosling is The Driver in a bloody tale about a sometimes stunt driver/mechanic/getaway driver whose well-ordered life falls apart when he falls in love.

The movie begins with Driver precisely uttering instructions to (more…)

Real Steel

Technically, Real Steel isn’t my kind of movie. I mean, sure, it has fighting robots, and battles between giant mechanized men are totally my thing. Violence. Futuristic technology. Yay!

Except, Real Steel relies on the “cute kid” plot device and a story that’s designed to tug at one’s heartstrings.  Teeny problemo: I don’t have heartstrings. Movies that others find heartbreaking and compelling, strike me as sappy and painfully obvious. As for kids…they’re like adults. Some children are absolutely charming; others are assholes; most just exist. I really dislike big-eyed urchins who I’m supposed to love because they are big-eyed urchins.

That said, I really liked Real Steel.

Real Steel is the story of a down-on-his-luck (more…)

Troll Hunter

I almost have to like Troll Hunter for one reason alone.

It has no shrieking women. There are some hysterics from a male cast member, but a hungry troll puts a quick end to it. The women are delightfully scream-free. (My reaction to the archetypal screaming starlet is to urge the monster to, “Kill her, kill her now!”)

The downside is that it’s filmed mockumentary-style, with handheld cameras and all the nausea-inducing shaking that goes with film vérité. Besides making sections unbearable for those prone to motion sickness, it means that chunks of the film are just herky-jerky shots of the ground as the characters flee the trolls. The trick is suspenseful once, but gets old fast.

Han (Otto Jespersen) has a problem. He hates his job. (Who doesn’t?) The hours suck, he gets no overtime, there’s tedious paperwork and his coworkers…. Well, he has no coworkers. Instead, he has trolls; it’s his job to manage the trolls of Norway. (Given my experience with coworkers, I might prefer the trolls…)

Hans is a troll hunter for the super secret Norwegian Troll Security Service (TSS). Even today, Norway has a healthy troll population. At least it was healthy. Han’s job consists of (more…)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Because I can be a tiresome pedant, I’d like to note that we are currently living on the “planet of the apes.” Humans are apes. Except to those less-evolved hominids who believe that their imaginary friend magicked up the Earth, firmaments and all its inhabitants in seven days. (If you’re one of those, why are your here, reading this blog? Shoo!)

I confess, I never saw the original Planet of the Apes  movie. I know–hang my head in shame–how can I call myself a geek? (I did see the Tim Burton reboot, which sucked monkey balls.) But based on what I’ve gleaned from Wikipedia and the few scenes from the original that I have seen, Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a splendid prequel.

James Franco plays Will Rodman, the earnest young scientist in search of a cure for Alzheimer’s. His is a personal quest, as his father, Charles (John Lithgow) suffers from the disease. Hope, however, shines bright on the horizon with Will’s pharmaceutical masterpiece, ALZ-113. The first test subject, a chimp known as number 9, displays amazing cognitive abilities after being given the drug, solving a puzzle which probably would challenge many Homo sapiens. Will brings the news to his boss, Jacobs (David Oyelowo) and they prepare to unveil the drug to stockholders, investors and other money types.

Then, disaster strikes. Chimp 9 goes bananas, rampaging through the test facility and eventually being shot dead. Jacobs is furious and demands that (more…)