But It's a Dry Heat

Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

War Horse

Alternate title for War Horse: Cursed Horse. Because nearly everyone who climbs on that animal’s back, gets dead.

War Horse, the movie, is epic. As in epic disappointment.

In a picturesque Devon, Albert Narracott (Jeremy Irvine) watches a horse grow from colt to horse in a neighbor’s field, wishing the horse could be his. He gets his shot at horse ownership when his drunken father, Ted (Peter Mullan), purchases that horse at an auction. As with most decisions made under the influence, it’s a poor choice, since the family needs a sturdy draft horse, not a Thoroughbred, to plow their rocky field. Albert’s mother, Rose (Emily Watson), is appalled, but Albert insists he’ll train Joey to do the necessary landscaping work. Looming in the background is the menacing landlord, Lyons (David Thewlis), who is eager to take the family farm if rent isn’t made.  Albert, who knows nothing about horses, trains Joey to come when he’s called, while Dad gets drunk and Mom makes excuses for his alcoholism.

The story moves to a predictable mini-climax where, against (more…)

Black Swan

I don’t think I’ve ever entirely forgiven Natalie Portman for the Star Wars debacle.

Of course, I know the real blame lies with George Lucas and his pathological inability to direct anything with a pulse. I also know Portman isn’t waiting, with bated breath, for my forgiveness. Nevertheless, she and Hayden Christiansen are the reason why I have to keep my hand on the remote, ready to hit fast-forward, when watching any of the Star Wars prequels.

Bias aside, she was amusing in Thor, and I really liked her in V for Vendetta.

Her performance in Black Swan, however, is a lot more Padme (Star Wars) than Evey (V for Vendetta).

In Black Swan, Portman plays the role of Nina, a dancer with (more…)

Race Cars, Not Dogs

In which I ensure that I never sell any books to anyone in the greyhound racing industry.* (*No, I’m not calling it a “sport.”) Like I give three shits.

You would think, given the proliferation of casinos and other forms of gambling, that greyhound racing wouldn’t exist at all anymore. Sadly, there are still a few pathetic fools who spent their money at the dog track, meaning there are still thousands of dogs being bred and fed to the gristmill of racing, every year. Obviously, people who work directly in the industry will defend its practices, claiming that reports of cruelty aren’t typical (they are) and that their dogs are feed caviar and steak every night.

More distressing are the turncoats in rescue groups who support and apologize for this corrupt and inhumane industry. They are the ideological equivalent of (more…)

Why Leash Laws Are Awesome (Or Why Certain Dog Owners Are Idiots)

After yet another run-in with a member of that special, entitled breed–the dog owner who refuses to leash his dog–I thought I’d post a rant about why leash laws are nifty.

There’s a certain segment of the dog-owning populace who are totally incorrigible.  But this is directed at the small percentage of irresponsible dog owners who maybe, just maybe, haven’t giving their bad behavior much thought.

Rule Number One for Dog Owners: It is rude to allow your dog to approach and interact with a person or their dog without the person’s express permission.

Repeated for emphasis: It is rude to allow your dog to approach and interact with a person or their dog without the person’s express permission.  Period.  Note there are no exceptions for bank holidays and “friendly dogs.”  Unless you are 100-percent sure the other person wants your dog near them, put him on a leash.

And this is where the off-leash crowd pulls out the same (more…)