But It's a Dry Heat

Nothing a Little Jack Daniels Won’t Cure

Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday and I’ve got nothin’.  So I figured I’d take a looksee at this blog’s accumulated comment spam.  Most spammers, of course, aren’t even trying.  In the comment approval window I find the usual suspects: links to naughty sites, cheap meds, knockoff Rolexes, etc.  The new trend in comment spam is complimentary gibberish, written apparently by people for whom English is a second language. Just barely.

For example, this bit of word salad, left on a posting about my greyhound.

With thanks for talk about really good informations. Your internet is amazing, (My internet?  I own the internet?  Who knew?) I am satisfied by the details that you simply have on this blog. (You’re satisfied?  Really?  Now I can die happy.) It shows how well you appreciate this subject. (Well, he is my dog.) Bookmarked this page, will appear again for much more. (Uh…Yippee.  I await, with bated breath.)

But the winner, thus far, for most creative is this one:

Hi, What can I take for this horrible heartburn I have? OH MY GOD… [replica watches/link redacted] It feels like the baby has lit my intestines on fire! It is horrible, even tea, water, like when I drink water and burp the water comes back up, it is horrible. The heartburn is the worst, it hurts so bad! What do you girls take for heartburn while pregnant that works for sure? help will be greatly appreciated!!!!

Booze, sweetie.  The really hard stuff.  Yeah.  That’ll do the trick.

(My comments are in moderation.  Anything with even the faintest taint of spam never sees the light of day.)

This entry was posted on Monday, November 29th, 2010 at 11:25 pm and is filed under Humor, Spam I Am, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.