That's right, dahl-ing, smile. But not too much. There; perfect.
The royal wedding and all things regarding the nuptials are a perfect substitute for Ambien.
Anyone who knows me, or who’s sniffed around this blog, shouldn’t be surprise by my utter disinterest in a multimillion dollar, faux, fairy tale wedding.
Yup. Faux. As in “fake, fake … fake, fake.” (Elaine Benes voice.)
But every girl dreams of meeting a handsome and fabulously wealthy prince, who falls madly in love with her and whisks her away from her life of toil and drudgery, correct? Well, as much as I’d like to never have to do laundry again, marrying a prematurely balding, stick-so-far-up-his-ass-it-serves-as-a-second-backbone dork is not my idea of a fairy tale. Or, romance.
“But Pat,” you say, “Doncha think it’s romantic? I mean, she’s like, a nobody, a commoner. She’s just like us. Why, just a few generations ago, someone like her would’ve been tasered for even approaching his royal baldness. And now this ordinary girl will be bumping uglies and shooting out ‘a heir and a heir to spare’ with the crown prince.”
Right. Isn’t that positively magnanimous of the royals? Allowing a commoner to partake of his royal seed? Ugh.
Kate Middleton is nothing like me. She may not have a royal pedigree, but she runs in social circles that include royals. The closest I ever come to royalty is when I’m digging up an anthill and unearth the queen.
And it’s not like she’s ever had a real job:
In Kate’s case though, the whole unemployment scenario shouldn’t be too difficult to handle. At 29 years of age she is the oldest spinster ever to marry a future king, and though she has a History of Art degree and years of life experience, Kate has spurned work wherever possible.
As for romance … even the worst romantic couple ever–Padme and Anakin Skywalker–had more chemistry. Kate and William are less human than the replicants in Blade Runner: two perfectly coiffed robots, smiling plastic smiles, careful not make eye contact with each other, keeping a careful distance. Shee-it. I bet even their wedding night will be choreographed.
And well-heeled as they may be, Kate’s in-laws are pretty much the in-laws from hell.
If she is a slower eater than her grandmother-in-law, Kate could go hungry. In Britain, when the Queen stops eating, you stop as well, fork in hand.
I’d rather finish my dinner. I need my strength to do the laundry.
This is cracking me up. I’m with you on this chick getting the short end of the stick having to conform to this family. I thought my ex-inlaws were bad. Sheesh. But I do think they’re nice people who truly love each other. I see the chemistry, but I’m not drinking of the royal wedding kool-aid. I’ll watch for the pretty dress, but that’s about it. And I won’t watch, I’ll catch highlights on my own time. LOL!
I also read that article about the couple and remember the bit about her spurning work setting me back a bit. Wish I could spurn work, but without the imminent royal wedding to fall back on. As I told Hellie earlier today, it’s not like he pulled out of the kitchen maid staff and turned her into a princess.
Hey, whatever floats Ms. Middleton’s boat. At the very worst, the marriage will go down in flames and she’ll still be set for life. Especially if it happens after she makes a few royal babies.
But, no, I’m just not feeling the royal love.