Pitch Black

Pitch Black, the movieI’ve never much liked Superman.

Although Smallville did a decent job of injecting the man of steel with a touch of humanity, the character as a whole is overburdened by his squeaky clean, unambiguous morality.

I like my heroes to struggle with their call to action. I want them to come kicking and screaming into the light. Don’t give me Mr. Saintly who saves the day because it’s the right thing to do. Give me a guy who saves Earth because it’s got the best pizza in the universe and, oh, yeah, his friends, all two of them, happen to call the little blue rock home.

Which is why Pitch Black is one of my favorite movies. Not only is the hero as dark as the movie’s title, but the supporting cast also has a furious case of flexible ethics.

Riddick (Vin Diesel), the film’s hero, is about as “anti” as an anti-hero can get. He’s spent so many years incarcerated in the Continue reading

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Wheel of Dreams

Wheel of DreamsOkay. So this is a cheat; in the interest of getting the blog fired up after a few weeks of hiatus. I’m still writing. And writing. And writing. And somehow, the effort of doing the “maintain an online presence” thing lost its shine.

Anyway, a few days ago, my muse runs off, refuses to take my calls, and generally acts like an asshole. He does that–the bastard. (Yes, muse is a he. “That’s Mr. Muse, to you, ” he snipes.) In order to entice him back, I pulled a few of my keepers from the bookshelf. One, Emma Bull’s, War for the Oaks, which never fails to inspire. Next to it, I found Wheel of Dreams by Salinda Tyson, which is the topic of today’s post.

The cheating part is because most of this is a review I posted at Goodreads several months ago. But Wheel of Dreams is one of the best romantic fantasy novels I’ve ever read. Sadly, it’s the only book the author ever wrote and I think it slid into obscurity about five minutes after it was published. Maybe it was the uglier than the back end of a garbage truck cover that doomed it, but Wheel of Dreams definitely make a case for don’t judge a book by its cover.

I read Wheel of Dreams several years ago. I remember being Continue reading

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Why I Read Fan Fiction

My To Be Read (TBR) pile of books is starting to reach swaying heights that violate all manner of OSHA rules. I’ve got list of books on hold at the library; more in a stack by my desk; and I regularly download “great deals” onto my Kindle.

But lately, I’ve given chunks of reading time over to fan fiction. For those who are don’t know, here’s the definition of fan fiction.

Back in my halcyon* days of fulltime, grownup employment, I read a lot of fan fiction. What else what I gonna do? Work? (*As in days of wine and honey and health insurance.) Once I started writing my own original fiction, I drifted away from fan fics, in part because of the bias among certain sectors of the writing community. Every so often, in between the regular author vs. reviewer scuffles and other Internet scandals, the fan fiction controversy pokes its head out of water like Nessie, and there’s a general freakout from folks on both sides of the issue. The issue isn’t anything I want to deal with here, but the angst is derived from the fact that Continue reading

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The Three Musketeers (2011)

The Three Musketeers 2011The makers of The Three Musketeer (2011) may have done well to take a cue from the film’s title. I.e., remembered that the story was more than The Adventures of D’Artagnan and His Three Sidekicks.

The movie’s poster accurately sums up the movie. D’Artagnan front and center, with the shrunken versions of the heroes three, trying to fight the battle while D’Artagnan vogues. Milady DeWinter (Mila Jovovich) is overacting* in background, with Buckingham and Richilieu demonstrating their one facial expression. (*Jovovich somehow manages to overact while employing only three facial expressions: a leer, a sneer, and an eyebrow twitch. It’s rather amazing.)

The basic premise of the movie is this: Arthos (Luke Evans), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Mathew MacFayden) are down-on-their luck Musketeers. D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) is the arrogant country boy who Continue reading

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The Thing (2011)

the thing 2011You know a movie has acquired a level of suckitude approaching black hole proportions when … I don’t even care about the dog.

I make no secret of the fact that I like animals more than people.  Sometimes, an animal is the only character worth watching. For instance, I spent the entire, agonizing, “good lord smite me before I have to watch more of this crapfest,” three-hours of Alexander the movie, worrying about Bucephalus the horse.

The Thing couldn’t even get me to give a fuzzy crap about the dog.

The Thing begins with three guys in an ice jeep thingy (look, if the director and scriptwriters were too lazy to build character backstories, I’m too lazy to Google the correct name of the vehicle). They are following a mysterious signal across the Antarctic ice. And they are Norwegian, which is Continue reading

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)I’ve never read the novel, but have seen the original Swedish movie adaptation, so this was an interesting journey into essentially watching the same film twice. Literally. The first two-thirds of the movie seems to be a scene-by-scene re-shoot of the original, in English. This version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo–now with Daniel Craig!–both is and isn’t an improvement over the original.

The story begins with Mikael Blomqvist (Daniel Craig) being convicted of journalistic fraud after his expose of a corrupted industrialist is revealed to be underlain by shoddy journalism. In truth, Mikael has been set-up, but the ruling has repercussions, not only for his career and Continue reading

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Dear Author, Don’t Make Me Smack You.

No, you charge

No. You charge.

Several months ago I read a much-lauded book, the first in another long epic series where the author is taking a god’s age to finish the sequels. (Like I can talk. I’m still not done with the 80K sequel to The Music of Chaos.) Despite all its press, I found the novel overrated, but that’s not the point of this post.

In one small scene in the novel, the protagonist, while on horseback, shakes the horse’s reins to encourage it to move forward.

And then my head exploded, raining confetti all around the room.

This isn’t the first book I’ve read where the author mistakenly thought that riders shake the reins to signal “Go.” It may have been one Continue reading

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They Hang Horse Thieves, Don’t They?

donkeys

We Isn't for "Borrowing."

An interesting side effect of being a heathen employed by a church, is that I probably read more scripture than many so-called Christians. Certain scriptures, those associated with Lent/Easter, Pentecost, and Christmas, for instance, get replayed yearly.

Every single time I read this scripture (below), I think, “Dude, Jesus totally stole that donkey.”

Mark 11:1-6 (ESV)

Now when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethphage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples 2 and said to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately as you enter it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever sat. Untie it and bring it. 3 If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately.’” 4 And they went away and found a colt tied at a door outside in the street, and they untied it. 5 And some of those standing there said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” 6 And they told them what Jesus had said, and they let them go.

Yeah, I know. If you do more than skim it, you’ll note that in verse 3, it’s implied that Jesus will return said long-eared critter, but I still argue that Jesus had a rather loose definition of property rights. I mean, the attitude reads as pretty much, “I’m borrowing this here donkey; deal with it.”

Religious folk, of course, might argue that since Jesus is also god, creator of the heavens, firmaments, and beasties great and small, the donkey is his by default.  Well, no. Not unless Dodge can roll up onto my doorstep and appropriate my Ram truck for a few hours, whenever Dodge chooses.

Today’s heresy is brought to you by the upcoming Palm Sunday and my muse who says I don’t have time to write a review of the action flick we watched two nights ago (Ronin). (Pictured: Two of five, of my neighbors’ donkeys, Sora and Clyde. Aren’t they cute?)

But It’s a Dry Heat

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How to Enable a Murderer

The thing that strikes me about the Trayvon Martin case is that, to some extent, the issue of gun control has been ignored. Make no mistake. I know racism was the cause of this young man’s death. Given that the only dirt defenders of the shooter can come up with is, “He [Martin] was suspended for possessing pot residue,” you know this kid was targeted for the color of his skin.

But what’s also clear to me, is that Florida’s lax gun control laws are responsible for letting a murdering racists like Zimmerman off the hook.

I own guns. I like ‘em. Unlike gun owners on the Right, however, I don’t lay in my bed at night, my sheets wet with night terrors brought on by the fear that Obama is going to take my guns. I don’t rage against an unkind universe when I have to wait a couple of weeks to purchase a gun. Most importantly, I don’t for one minute, deny that guns are designed for anything other than taking the life of another living being.

“But guns don’t kill people. People do,” wails the gun nut.

You just made my point, Bubba. This is precisely Continue reading

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In Time

In Time, movieRemember Logan’s Run?

Me neither; just a few scattered impressions from when I was a kid and it was on TV.  I recall it being about a futuristic society where people were killed off at 30, their expiration date announced by some kind of colored device on their hand.

In Time trades in a variant of that premise: in the future, science has somehow made it so that people stop aging at twenty-five. Humans, however, still make babies and in a world where no one dies except through fatal accidents, people would eventually be packed on this little blue sphere like sardines. Society’s solution is stamp a digital clock on everyone’s arm that starts ticking at 25, counting down a year. Since it’s possible to put more time on the clock, a person could theoretically live forever. Run out of time, however, and it’s Deadsville for you. Time, not money, is now the most important commodity.

It’s the future and Continue reading

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