Hot Tacos Sing Dick Cheney

Need proof of evolution?  Look no further than spam. (The virtual version, as the exact taxonomic classification for the edible kind remains a mystery to science.) For every innovation in spam filters, spammers evolve and adapt ways to get around said filters.  Since the majority of filters rely on subject lines, the result is a bizarre array of nonsensical verbiage in the subject line.

Without further ado, I bring you today’s subject lines from my spam box…

“my pic for you”

Neato. Now I have something to throw darts at.

“need to findout more about you”

I’m an evil genius with plans to take over the Universe. What else is there to know?

“The new resume is attached”

Ah, I see you are applying for the position of “minion.” I trust you do windows and vacuum?

“Speaker John Boehner?”

Oh, another advert for erectile dysfunction.

“get a hug when you give her a gift from Tiffany’s”

Just a hug? For some Tiffany’s swag, I expect to get laid.

“Bigger is definitely better.”

Not if we’re talking cockroaches or asses.

“I like you”

Really? You like me? You really like me? [Does best impression of Sally Field.]

Man gets kicked in teeth by horse”

I.e., the state of dentistry in America.

“It makes gentlemen’s tool wooden”

Ouch! Splinters!

And finally, the old reliable…

“Hi.”

Oh, come on! You’re not even trying. Put some effort into it.

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